I am learning.
My hair is growing...and it is DIFFERENT.
Lots of people have told me about someone they know who went through cancer treatment and their hair grew back curly, or straight, or an odd color.
Mine is white.
And, in someplaces, there is a twinge of red. ish.
But mostly white.
AND I DON'T CARE.
Because I am comfortable with who I am, and if the person I am has white hair, or no hair, or straight hair, or hair that stands on end, I am comfortable.
Ok. Almost comfortable.
I really wouldn't want to be bald for ever.
And I may decide, later, that white hair is not what I desire. I may decide to have a bit more of the 'ish', as in red, back.
But I have learned over the past 7 months that there are other, more important things. Like life. And family. And friendships. And my relationship with my Creator. I am learning -- even these things I already knew.
I am learning anew.
I have learned that other people, friends even, are not comfortable with what I look like.
"Are you going to color your hair when it gets longer?"
"Oooooh....are you sure?"
NO! I am NOT sure.
Because I am learning to try and not say "I will/would 'never'".
Slowly learning, but I AM learning.
But I am happy, right now, with white hair.
With curly hair.
With straight hair.
And the ease that that happiness provides, that that acceptance provides, is priceless. That ease allows me to be me. Not my hair. Not my body (ok, another caveat...I am not entirely comfortable with my body...not the weight gain, not the new body that does not fit into my clothes, etc. -- but I am not going to obsess about it.)
People who know me, know me. Whether my hair, or my body, is 'normal' or odd. And they either love me or they don't.
People who don't know me probably wonder.
That's ok by me. Wonder away.