"Feel" that God is using me.
I take no pride in being used.
At least, I don't want to.
But it does 'feel' good to know that my experiences, my fears, my trembling, are of help to someone else.
To know that God's faithfulness to me, and to my family, is an encouragement to others.
To know that my words that were poured out in pain and terror may help calm that same pain and terror for another.
That was not my purpose.
Perhaps that is His purpose. At least part of His purpose in allowing Drenda Howatt to experience breast cancer.
Platitudes, cliches, and acts are melted away in fires.
The dross is burned. At least some of it.
There is not time to consider what others may think.
To consider how I will look.
To consider if my words 'sound' right.
It is what it is.
I am what I am.
That is all ok, because He is who He is. And His promises are true. He is true.
I know cancer will always be a part of me. It will not define me. But it is now a part of who I am.
I know God has allowed it to shape me. Shape my thoughts. Shape my actions. Shape my character.
I will always have the physical reminders that cancer was there.
An oddly shaped breast.
The heart reminders will be the helps I can offer others.
And the physical reminders will be the outward sign for me to look for the heart reminders.