Scared

"Courage is being scared to death -- but saddling up anyway." John Wayne

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the one thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt

Oh my goodness. Is it possible to be courageous and be "saddled up", but still scared to death? 

Yes.

Scared of death? 

Yes.

Is it possible to gain strength, courage and confidence by looking fear in the face, and still being scared to death? 

Yes.

I know.

Because I am.

I am "saddled up"...on the breast cancer bucking bronco.

I am stopped and looking fear in the face.

I am doing the one thing I thought I could not do.  I am fighting cancer.

I am gaining strength, courage, and confidence.

But I am still scared to death.

And scared of death.

Looking fear in the face is a daily process. A moment to moment process.

I have learned that just because I look fear in the face, stare fear in the face, glare at fear in its face, it doesn't go away for long. Sometimes not at all.

I will keep staring at that monster called fear.

I will keep glaring at that monster.

And I will win.