Touched

"Eventually, cancer touches everyone."

That is the t.v. ad line to sell the Providence Cancer Center.

Obviously, I am "touched".

As is my immediate family.

And my extended family.

And my friends.

My co-workers.

But does my "touching" affect others? People I may never know? The woman in the parking lot?

I wonder about the effect of the affect on all these people, known and unknown?

What is the effect of the affect in me?

In some real ways, I want the "touching" to be merely a "brush"...just a fleeting encounter with sickness, terror, and inconvenience.

But if that is all it is, if the only effect is a fleeting brush, wouldn't touching be wasted? Shouldn't I be different for all I have experienced? Shouldn't there be lessons I learn really well?

I want to be a better person for the cancer. I want to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. A better staff assistant. A better landlord. A better Drenda. I want my first responses to be compassion, understanding, love, laughter.

And, if those things happen, I will be able to say that the effect is a strong and lasting change. I will never forget having cancer. And I hope I never forget my lessons learned from going through the sickness, terror, and inconvenience. Especially the terror.

I would love to hear the effect of the affect my cancer has had on you. Good, bad, or ugly! If you are unwilling to make a public comment on this note, please send me a private message.

Because hearing from you will encourage me.

Because hearing from you will "touch" me.